a few guys had asked me about interstate pass. After consulting my colleagues at Immigration am told that citizens or residents of Kenya traveling to either Uganda or Rwanda can get the interstate pass from Immigration officers at the point of departure upon production of either a Kenyan ID/ Passsport  or Alien Registration Card for residents.

That card will then be stamped by the officer and should then be produced to the Ugandan or Rwandese Immigration officer at the point of entry. That card will then be stamped with the valid immigration status for Uganda or Rwanda. Upon return to Kenya the card is then handed over to the Kenyan Immigration officer at the port of arrival.

Please note that this is only applicable for Kenya-Rwanda-Uganda only and doesn’t suffice for Tanzania and Burundi.

So yes if you are a lawful resident of Kenya you can travel to Uganda and Rwanda without having to pay for a visa but please note you need work authorization to work in those countries.

A lot has been said by all and sundry about the border wall that Kenya intends to build alongside the Kenya Somalia border. Different experts on security and wall constructions have given their take on the merits and demerits of this huge project by the government.

I must say that I am neither a security expert nor an expert on any wall, be it the border one or the perimeter one around my compound: I am an Immigration practitioner and an ordinary citizen with some interest in my security and that of other Kenyans. The current security situation has been blamed a lot on people entering Kenya illegally due to porous borders, although with a few cases of Kenyan citizens we have seen arrested as part of these terror gangs, we may want to interrogate that further.

The government has cited intelligence to show that indeed majority of the terrorists have entered the country through the porous borders. This is not the only reason why we have insecurity though because security is much more complex than just the border issue.

In my view, the security wall is one of the many efforts that the government needs to undertake to secure our borders. In many other countries, immigration is a very powerful force well equipped and staffed to secure the borders and manage all foreigners in the country. As it is now, Kenya Immigration services is not well equipped and staffed to fully execute its mandate…this is partly due to years and years of neglect and not being taken as serious security agency.

I know a lot of efforts have been made to reform the Immigration Department to live up to its mandate but more still needs to be done. Given a choice between the wall and stronger security agencies, I would prefer a robust well equipped Immigration Force to the security wall because, if these Immigrants knew that any time they entered the country they would be found and prosecuted, then they would think twice before crossing the Kenyan borders. At the moment, this is not the case because the enforcement of Immigration laws is severely hampered by the lack of capacity on part of Kenya Immigration Department and other security agencies.

I would therefore think that whereas the security wall is a good idea, stronger security sector agencies would be a better idea. If we can have both at the same time the better but I doubt this is easy bearing in min dhow poorly we are doing in terms of wealth generation in this country if you factor in the resources that go into financing our corruption Inc among other holes within our economy

I believe the discourse Kenyans are having on this wall is a sign of public interest and not just an attempt to just criticize everything that the government is doing to secure the country. The debate should be encouraged and where possible sensible views from those with expertise on these matters to be considered. Security is indeed everybody’s responsibility like H.E The president told us awhile ago: lets discuss

According to the Director of Immigration services (DIS), in adverts placed in the local dailies and online, from today the 1st of May 2015 henceforth, all applications for Kenyan passport will be done online. This is powered by the online government platform christened e-citizen where you can also access other services from other government agencies such as renewal of your driver’s license, search and register a business name with the state law office, land search among others. I have a bias towards Immigration services so I will address myself to accessing Immigration services through this platform.
In order to use this services, you must register for e-citizen using either your national ID if you are a citizen or Alien Card if you are a foreign national residing in Kenya lawfully (sorry to illegal immigrants…this is not for you). In order to apply for a passport, you will log into e-citizen and select Immigration services, then the type of service you want and this will take you to the form that you will fill…it is pretty much the same old form but now you do the filling online. Once done with the filling you will then select the mode of payment to use, if it is Mpesa or credit/debit card among others…well you can get a step by step on how to do this from the e-citizen.
I have already seen a lot of debate online as to whether this is really online or manual system and if it adds any value and so forth. I am not an ICT expert but as an Immigration services practitioner, I think whatever the situation, this venture is a step in the right direction and should be supported. We have been crying as citizens that we need to embrace technology in the public service to enhance service delivery and for sure this is one such step the government is taking towards that. I am also looking forward to see other services of the Kenya Immigration department such as permits, passes and visas go live on this platform but passports is the right place to start.
In the meantime, I would like to give my personal review and views on this e-citizen platform. The truth is that it is a manual system online! Well, one of my good friend and my undergraduate literature lecturer was not amused by manual system online! The truth though is that you will fill the form online but still have to print and avail yourself to either of the three passport issuing offices in the country and queue for the Immigration officer to verify the documents and take a photo…the same process as before anyway…many of us don’t like that because of the long queues and other challenges of finding packing in Nairobi, especially near Nyayo house not mentioning the frisking you have to undergo to enter the premises of Nyayo house…we probably hoped that we could do everything online and just wait for the passport to be delivered. Whereas that is ideal, the reality is it is not likely to happen anytime in the future for several reasons.
I am not sure there is any country where the entire process of passport application is online but am open to be educated on such countries. If you look at the security challenges we are facing as a country, I don’t think we would have enough safeguards to host 100% online passport application system…ICT experts can educate us more on this.
My contention is that the spirit of this process is well intended and visionary. How it performs will inform the future of this process but I can bet things will get better. There are a few additions that probably the designers of this process could consider incorporating to manage traffic at Immigration offices. For instance I am imagining that there could have been a functionality that schedules your time slot to appear before immigration officers once you select your preferred office and the date akin to what the American Embassy consular section or the UK & Australian visa application centers do. This will bring some sanity in the Immigration banking halls because citizens will only be allowed into the hall based on the time allocated to them by the system. The officers will not be overwhelmed by numbers of angry and hungry applicants queuing for long house to be served.
I am sure as times go by and based on our experiences with the system once it is operational will inform the amendments the government will make into the system but so far so good.
Well done to the architects of this platform and my prayer that all citizens will support this initiative and give the necessary fair and accurate feedback to the government based on their experiences with the new system to help in additions or rectifications where necessary.

Introduction.

In the last few days, the word corruption has been in the minds and mouths of many Kenyans after the president, in his state of the nation address, vowed to lead the fight against corruption and true to his words, he gave a list of many public officials under investigation by the Ethics and Anti-Corruption commission for allegedly being involved in corruption. Prior to that, the Kenyan media was awash with many scandals of corruption after owners and directors of a British security printing firm Smith & Ouzman, were jailed by a London court for having bribed the Kenyan electoral body Interim Independent Electoral and boundaries commission (IIEBC) officials to secure electoral materials printing contract.

In this paper, I will attempt to analyse the concept of corruption as perceived in Kenya/Africa in general using the conflict and cultural context theory. I will define the terms corruption, culture, briefly explore the conflict and cultural context theory and finally discuss how the concept of corruption is perceived in Kenyan/African culture vis-à-vis the western culture.

Definitions.

The term corruption seems simple but defining it is like attempting to catch a mirage or your shadow. It is more of a perception and may keep changing depending on the culture, time and place. Transparency International (2006) defines corruption as misuse of power for private gain. According to Sylla (2012) quoting shehu 1999 & Uneke 2010…

In this perspective, corruption is the abuse of public office for private or personal benefit. It has many forms that include bribery, extortion, fraud and embezzlement. In Sub-Saharan Africa it also covers relations between individuals in their daily life. For instance, street vendors and other small business owners are also involved in the corruption of police officers, and other bureaucrats who deal with them. In this practice, these small business owners circumvent the red tape of bureaucracy to get their paper work done quickly. Corruption has many forms. They include economic, political and social. It is vertical, between top leaders and subordinates in the context of public administration, but it is also horizontal, involving many public agencies in the government and between private individuals and citizens (p.2)

In this paper, corruption will refer to all manner of actions that can be perceived or construed as corruption whether by public officials or individual private persons in their day to day work. Many scholars have defined culture in different ways. I will cite a few of such definitions and then out of that arrive at what culture in this paper will refer to.

According to Damen (1987:367) “culture is learned and shared human patterns or models for living; day-to-day living patterns. These patterns and models pervade all aspects of human social interactions. Culture is mankind’s primary adaptive mechanism”. Hofstede (1984:51), defines culture as “the collective programming of the mind which distinguishes the members of one category of people from another” while Useem & Useem (1963:169) says that “culture has been defined in a number of ways, but most simply, as the learned and shared behaviour of a community of interacting human beings”

In this paper, culture will loosely refer to ways of life of a people and the cultural conflict theory is therefore based on the idea that different cultures and classes of people have different values, beliefs and goals. It is when these different cultures, with distinct perceptions about life and the social structure, come together that conflict arise and they tend to clash.

According to Ting-Toomey (1982:1) “viewing conflict as a communication process and culture as a system of symbols and meanings allows conflict to be seen as embedded in the normative systems of culture. Conflict is functional when it maintains the fundamental norms and values of the culture, regulates an appropriate degree of stability in the system and takes place in a normative heterogeneous culture where individual opinions and viewpoints are respected. Otherwise it is dysfunctional”

In my analysis of corruption and how it is perceived in Kenya and Africa in general, several thoughts came to my mind and I kept wondering if indeed, what is corruption in America for example is corruption in Kenya. Just like any other societal issue, corruption in my view is viewed within the prism of cultural context. In my Tharaka Community for example, if I need to go to a friend to ask him to be the sponsor of my son during his initiation ceremony, I cannot do so ‘empty handed’ as they say.

Among the Tharaka people, during a circumcision ceremony, every initiate has to have an elder standing behind him as he is being circumcised. Such an elder becomes your father and from that moment henceforth is a part of your life. The name for that elder is ‘ithe wa muthenya’ (father of the day). This name is meant to make a distinction between him and your biological father who in this context would be ‘ithe wa utugu’ (Father of the night). Normally, among my people, it is assumed that baby making happens at night hence this name.

In order for me to go to such an elder, I am obligated to carry with me an assorted array of gifts to take to him to request for the honour of him accepting to be a day’s father to my son. In fact it is a common practice that you don’t go to an elder to ask for anything empty handed as they say in my culture. If you remove that practice from that culture and bring it to an office setting where for instance you go to see a government official to request him to offer your son a job and in the process gift him with a goat or a chicken, then that is construed as corruption. Whereas that may be true, from my community’s cultural point of view, it doesn’t make sense how carrying with you a gift in such a situation will be considered as a bribe. It is these kinds of situations that in my view demonstrate how different cultural practices cause conflict.

Asante & Abarry (1996) argues that Africa had developed sophisticated cultures and civilization which resulted into emergence of such great empires from ancient Egypt, to Ghana and Songhai in Mali to mention a few. This was then followed by the epoch of slave trade and colonialism. These interventions and intrusions of the African societies disorganized the cultural norms and values of the Africans in a big way according to N’Diaye (2008).

According to Sylla (2012), during the long period that Africa was colonized, there was cultural conflict and confusion as the colonizers attempted to dismantle the existing African ways and replace them with the supposedly better ways of the dominant culture. The indigenous Africans did not take it lightly and consequently fought such subjugation of their cultures. The fight was not easy at all because Africa was faced with a force that had both military and resources superiority and ultimately this led to a long drawn struggle that eventually led to cultural confusion and in others integration that led to adopting all the behaviours from the dominant cultural force.

New system of societal governance were adopted, although not willingly, in many African societies including Kenya. It is in these systems that now corruption has thrived as people struggle to mix the cultural practices in the office environment. Whereas in the traditional African setup, the concept of gifts could not be misused because there were safeguards that ensured justice as perceived prevailed, the same cannot be said of the state of affairs now. Using my Tharaka community again, it was not common for instance for one person to gift the elders so that they could rule in his favour say in a land dispute with his neighbour.

The elders were obliged by the community ethos to be not only wise but also just. If any one of them failed this test, then there were severe sanctions such as banishment from the community for a long time. This is not happening in the modern way of doing things although the laws exist to check such maladies, people continue to be corrupt to the extent of subverting justice even in the court or arbitration processes.

The conflicts caused by the clash of cultures continue to date to generate confusion concerning what is a correct behaviour. Politics for instance is a very divisive field in Africa according to Mazrui as cited in Asante & Abarry (1996). Sylla (2015) in exploring the concept of gifting I alluded to earlier introduces the phrase social solidarity which he says is a very necessary element of the African cultural basis. According to him, giving a gift to someone else is the most honourable gesture in a relationship and is commonly accepted because indigenous people believed in prior anticipation of a new relationship even before things have taken place. Gift giving is therefore a part of social solidarity in order to maintain harmony and peace across all spheres of the society. According to Sylla (2012), “This symbolic interaction plays a vital role in many societal settings including workplace, government and in politics. It is also part of social relationships, including finding a mate or making friends. For many indigenous people, gift giving is not corruption and it never leads to embezzlement”

Whereas that may be true traditionally, due to the new ways of governance, it cannot hold in the modern office setup because it is one of the main causes of corruption in African societies. It has seen public officials engaged in mega scandals and asking for kickbacks. In my view theft of resources through kickbacks cannot be interpreted using the social solidarity argument because ordinarily, it was not acceptable for greed to rule those in authority so much so that they apportion themselves the communal resources for their own use.

For instance the wells were shared by the communities where all members of the community were allowed to fetch water as well as quench the thirst of their livestock regardless of their social or economic status. However, I would agree that it is the well-intended gesture of gift giving in the African culture that has now been misused to perpetuate the runaway corruption we see today in our society.

Another major point of cultural conflict in Kenya and Africa in general is the religious front. Although all African societies were and are still deeply religious, the introduction of different religions such as Islam and Christianity brought in a new way of worship. These new religions came alongside the enslavement and colonialism and were also somewhat resisted but eventually embraced. I have seen from experience that both the traditional African religious views and modern religions creating conflict within individuals where one is a very good Christian by day but revert to their traditional religious ways by night. In some instances both religions conflict in as far as issues of corruption are concerned.

According to Onu (2014), “the communal nature of the African society can also be blamed for the runaway corruption in Nigeria and by extension other African countries”. He explains that an African is a communal being and gives an example of a young man who while growing up is taken care of by the uncles, aunties, brothers among others. Such a person once he ascends to a public office will most likely seek money through corruption to amass wealth to give back to the community in the spirit of societal expectation. The same may not be true of a young man in the Americas who grows up knowing that your life is yours and therefore no such expectations from the society he comes from.

In conclusion, it is quite evident that different cultures, however well intended, when removed from their natural habitat and context and introduced in a different set up, will most likely create conflict as people try to either adopt or resist. The main reason for this is the fact that culture is the totality of the ways of life of a people acquired and learned over space and time. The concept of corruption is one that I find quite intriguing depending on the cultural context one finds themselves. In some societies for instance, giving a gift regardless of the value, cannot be taken as corruption while in another culture it will be frowned at because it amounts to corruption.

Reference

Asante, M. K & Abarry, A. S. (1996). African Intellectual heritage. Temple University Press. Philadelphia: USA.

Bandura, A. (2002).  Social Cognitive Theory in Cultural Context. Applied Psychology: An International Review, 51: 269–290. doi: 10.1111/1464-0597.00092 (http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1464-0597.00092/full)

Damen, L. (1987). Culture Learning: The Fifth Dimension on the Language Classroom. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley.

Hofstede, G. (1984). National cultures and corporate cultures. In L.A. Samovar & R.E. Porter (Eds.), Communication Between Cultures. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

Farrales, M.J. (2005). What is Corruption?: A History of Corruption Studies and the Great Definitions Debate . Available at SSRN: http://ssrn.com/abstract=1739962 or http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.1739962

N’Diaye, T. (2008). Le Génocide Voilé. Editions Gallimard: Paris, France.

Onu F.O (2014). International Journal of Economics, Commerce and Management Vol. II, Issue 2, 2014, United Kingdom

Sylla, K. (2012). Defining corruption in the cultural context of Sub-Saharan Africa. UOA, USA. Accessed from http://www.aeppa.org/upload/corruption%20in%20cultural%20context%20sub-saharan%20africa%s20%28sylla%29.pdf on 21.04.2015

Ting-Toomey, S. (1982). Towards a theory of conflict and culture. Louisville, KY: SCA.

T.I (2005, 2006).Transparency International on Africa: www. Transparency international .org

Useem, J. & Useem, R. (1963). Human Organizations, 22(3).

http://elaine.ie/2009/07/31/definitions-and-types-of-corruption/

http://www.tigweb.org/express/panorama/article.html?ContentID=380

http://www.sagepub.com/upm-data/42958_2_The_Cultural_Context.pdf

http://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED225201

The president has elevated Major Gen. Retired Dr. Gordon Kihalangwa,the current Director of Kenya Immigration Department,as the new Principal Secretary Department of Interior in the Ministry Of Interior and coordination of National government. He takes charge of National security including Immigration. This means that soon there will a new Director of Immigration …. We are keen on who that person will be and what that mean in terms of service delivery. Keep following this blog for further analysis and updates.

The deaths of 148 innocent university students cannot and shall not be a matter to be taken lightly and used to apportion blames left right and Centre. It is easily said than done though…for those directly affected; however much we try to pretend to understand what they are going through, the truth of the matter is we don’t! The media, in its characteristic style of setting the agenda, is awash with many so called security experts and analysts trying to put into perspective what might have happened and what we need to do going forward.
In today’s Saturday Nation pages 10 & 11(April 4, 2015) I have read a lengthy article by one Trevor Ngulya a security expert, by the title: “How Police can redeem tainted image” on the ails of the Kenya Police and what needs to be done to redeem it. In the article Trevor fishes around and identifies a litany of problems ailing the police and finally gives a number of steps that needs to be taken to revamp the police force to make it a better equipped force that can secure the country more and avoid tragedies like the Garissa one.
This article forms the basis of my arguments here but first I must declare that unlike Trevor, I am not a security expert and I don’t hold brief for the Kenya police. In the spirit of transparency though, I must admit that I have a brother, a cousin and many good friends working for the Kenya police service. I am just an ordinary Kenyan trying to ventilate on why, what, how…of the Garissa Massacre, like am sure everybody else is doing, whether they put it down like me or choose to keep it in their hearts.
Normally when incidences like these happen, normal people will seek to know what really happened and who is to blame? If the issue is a security one like this one, then the police and other security agencies are obviously in the mix. I am also tempted to blame the police and I would have justifications for it but I chose not… In fact I want to commend the security forces for the swift response even with all the challenges and the many fatalities reported. The cabinet secretary for Interior Maj. Gen. Joseph Nkaissery and the Inspector General of National Police service Joseph Boinet exhibited a good sense of control, mastery of crisis control and crisis management and communication. The two Josephs were calm and controlled and managed the media very well unlike in the Westgate fiasco where all manner of blunders upon blunders were witnessed.
Trevor Ngulya has spoken of one thing that is always in my heart every time issues of incompetence and corruption in the Kenya Police service are raised: Recruitment and training. Quite frankly, the rain begun beating us the moment we made police recruitment in Kenya an auction where the highest bidder (briber) got the slot…the same is true for all other security agencies( Kenya Defense Forces, Kenya Wildlife Services, Kenya Forest services, Kenya prison services to mention just but a few) for your information.
I have had the privilege of serving as a peacekeeper with the United Nations Mission in Liberia alongside the Kenya Police and other police services from across the globe and I can tell you the Kenyan officers are as efficient as everyone else! One thing though that I found out is that in many other countries, recruitment into the police service is a serious process that nobody dares to be compromised to hire the wrong guys.
Training of our men in uniform is also another area that we must look into as a matter of urgency. I have spent at least two months in a police training facility undergoing a pseudo paramilitary training and I think the training is not bad at all. The instructors are well competent and qualified to do what they do. However, we need to revamp the training in the face of emerging global crimes like terrorism we are now witnessing. Developed countries we very much like to emulate and refer to as we castigate our own security agencies have highly specialized units that are well equipped for rapid response in any part of the country as they may be required. They are mostly referred to as SWAT (Special Weapons And Tactics) teams. People in these teams do not have four hands, four legs and two heads….they are just more trained and equipped to respond to situations than we have done in Kenya. Kenya has more than enough men and women already serving in our security forces capable of being in SWAT… if you doubt look at the famous Recce squad of the General Service Unit! My take is we need to use Recce as a model to set up SWAT teams that are then deployed around the country and can be scrambled to react to situations anywhere within their coverage in the shortest time possible.
Like I have argued before, the countries we look up to, like US, UK, France, Germany and Israel are not made up of super humans. NO! They only have superior strategies to deal will all manner of security threats. No country can pretend to be 100% safe from terrorism but the ability to counter terrorism with a combination of precise actionable intelligence, well trained and equipped SWAT teams and a public that is both vigilant and willing to cooperate with security forces to secure their country.
As a country, we must draw the line like President Kenyatta has done and decide that indeed security starts with all of us. I said it before and I wish to repeat it here for all and sundry: Change of guard at the helm of our security agencies is good in giving us a placebo to comfort us that we are now more secure than we were yesterday but the truth is that no one person can fix our security, it is a collective responsibility of all Kenyans and foreigners residing in our midst. Blaming the Kenya police may satisfy your desire to do so but will not make you safer!
Think about that!

April the 2nd 2015, will remain in the minds of many Kenyans for a long time. 147 young, ambitious and innocent boys and girls from all walks of life across the country were felled by bullets of perverts! Savages….beasts….demons…I cannot find appropriate adjectives to properly define those terrorists. Defining them using any single adjective would be an understatement and insults to the souls of the deceased Kenyans.
As news trickled in of how the siege and subsequent massacre was executed, my mind was drawn to the events of the recent actions by H.E Uhuru Kenyatta, the president and the commander in chief of the Defense Forces of Kenya. He has done what all the men that preceded him at state house knew needed to be done yet dared not to: Giving the fight against corruption the energy and impetus it needed to roll.
You may wonder what has corruption to do with the death of 147 Kenyans at the Garissa University…my answer to you is: Corruption has everything to do with the attack! In fact everything to do with it.
Whenever you see a Kenyan dying in whatever circumstance, if you dig deeper, the underlying root cause is corruption. If you look at the Ethic and Anti-Corruption Report presented to parliament by President Kenyatta during his state of the nation address, you can only come to the realization of the magnitude of plunder, looting, theft and rape of every part of the body that is Kenyan Nation! If you are fuming and reading me the constitution and the law about innocence until proven guilty and am gonna tell you a thing: go to hell, you are just part of the script. You and I know that almost 95% of people in public offices today cannot account for their wealth and give you an account of every coin they have used to amass their wealth! A case study is the ongoing circus of the Police vetting where people have employed all manner of theatrics to try and explain their wealth. ( I didn’t know crying would be used to explain one’s wealth until I saw a full grown man that would snap your life even with his bare hands if you met him just outside the vetting all).
I am waiting to see if the corrupt politicians in EACC list will shed crocodile tears in mourning the 147 children of ordinary Kenyans that were massacred in Garissa attack….I will not be surprised anyway…haven’t we seen some pretending to be philanthropic especially in availing hearses to transport poor Kenyans that have died awaiting cancer treatment at Kenyatta National Hospital for more than a year because the only two machines the hospital has had since independence have broken down?!
As I watched the numerous specialists, both genuine and fake, on National TVs trying to analyze what happened, one more thing came to mind, Kenyans will condone corruption as long as something trickles down to them in the meantime. That is why a few years back we saw demonstrations in the streets of Nairobi people chanting…( tunataka mwizi wetu…as in we want our thief)…as they demanded the release of a politicians who had been arrested for whatever reason.
I know President Kenyatta’s decision to lay bare the content of EACC report may not be accepted by many people, I will die agreeing with because he has done the right thing. We know in Kenya the law and courts systems have been used to protect thieves and perverts that have decided to transform public moneys into private money and therefore to rant at Kenyatta for not following the law is defeatist in the sense that it has not worked before….in any case I am a believer in the philosophy that ethics and morality is superior to law…some laws are bad laws and history can bail me out: Apartheid and slave trade were laws! Did that make them good and ethical because it was law? Hell No!
In conclusion though, I beg to differ with my hero President Uhuru on the 10,000 police recruits that never reported due to a court order: the judiciary CANNOT be blamed for it. We all know that enlistments into the Kenya police has been an auction where the guys with the highest bid (bribe) gets the job… we know this but pretend that it is OK! In my village, peasants sell their land to raise bribes to secure slots for their kids…do I blame them? No…they are products of the system.
My fellow Kenyans, the day we allowed the abnormal to be our normal, then we willingly accepted to abnormal occurrences like the Garissa massacre….we must get angry like the president has started doing and slay the dragon that is ferociously devouring our nation: Corruption will kill all of us good people….may be today it’s not your child that lies at the cold freezers at the city morgue, but if you don’t agree to take action…who knows the next guy to take his/her turn at the morgue?
My heart is bleeding for Kenya and the innocent deaths of those young brilliant students of Moi University-Garissa College! May you RIP comrades!

In Kenya today, we seem to have an explosion of the fake way of doing things. I have heard this tired phrase…fake it till you make bundled around in all platforms but didn’t quite expect people would embrace it this big.

Our media, be it mainstream, blogs, social media or even the gutter press is awash with fake stories of fake doctors, fake teachers, fake cops, fake lawyers, fake schools, fake night runners, fake whores, fake beggars…to name just but a few.

On a more serious note, every time I walk the real streets of Nairobi and look at the beggars lining the streets as busy Nairobians go about their businesses, be they fake or real, and wonder if indeed they are real beggars or the fake ones that own property but during the day their day job is begging.

As my mind is trying to digest that, I look around and see chemists all over the place selling all manner of drugs to Kenyans. I am not even sure if they are fake or real…but even if they were real…what about the drugs they sell? Have we not heard about fake drugs all over the place?

Anyway, let me not dwell there a lot because I have a long journey to make. I buy a newspaper and read about a story of a man who was caught somewhere in Kenya for stealing from unsuspecting men posing as a woman! The story is this man would dress as a woman and approach men…fake or real? Lure them into accepting to take ‘her ‘for the night and ultimately end up drugging them ( am sure using a real drug) and stealing from them!

In the same paper I read of night runners in western Kenya seeking recognition for their very important role of running in the night! Justifications? By running in the night, they keep thieves at bay and therefore contributing to the security and safety of the country! I am not sure but I think I also heard them say that they were also threatened by fake night runners.

At the matatu terminal, I board a mathree to my work place and as soon as I am in, the conductor stretches his hand for fare and I willingly hand him a crisp clean 100 shillings note….he looks at it with suspicion and squeezes it in his hands to confirm it is real. Problem? Well there is a lot of fake money in circulation.

In the office, as I am busy doing my job, I receive an sms on my phone…apparently I have won 100K in a competition I am not aware of and never participated! I politely asked the sender to use the money to buy the mother, struggling in the village with fetching fire woods, a meko to make her life easier.

The rest of my day is OK….it is a Friday anyway.

On Saturday morning, I decide to take my real car( 1989 model of Toyota, by then the fake business was not booming) to an estate fundi for check up. Now my junk had a small problem of becoming a boiler of some sort by turning the water in the radiator into steam…and I explain this to the mechanic…who starts by giving me his story of how he started as a driver in Mombasa with the then OTC and how he ultimately came to Nairobi. Several days later and my car was at his garage with no solution…the problem? Fake mechanic…

If I am to write this story to complete it, I need a fake tarmac road to write on….may be from Mombasa to Kisumu! So I have to cut it here…

But before I do that, my mind is still wondering how shall we deal with this? Am not sure prayers will work if the pastors we have are the Kanyaris! Not sure reporting to the police will work either if the cops we have are Waiganjos….am not sure the courts with all the fake judges and magistrates as has been demonstrated by the vetting processes, will work either

For some time I thought strong regulatory framework would help, but gauging by what is happening with our parliament and Ethics and Anti-corruption commission where the people supposed to be the watch dogs have becomes hyenas instead, I think that too will not work!

So, what will work? I don’t know because probably am also fake! Hahah

See you soon in the fake world.

 

Like them or hate them, the Americans know exactly what they want and go for it. They are very much concerned about their security than many other things after the 9/11 experience. They mean business in terms of who goes to the USA and what for..

When my boss told me that I needed to go to the US for a business conference, the many things that came to my mind were the many stories I had heard about people’s experiences at the consular section of the American Embassy in Nairobi and elsewhere… This did not deter me from starting the process of Visa application. gladly for me, I had very able helping hands to take me all through in a colleague who has worked at the US Embassy before …all the same I kept asking what if…..the visa is denied and so forth! At some point I told my boss, an American as well, that well, if her fellow countrymen liked me and gave me the visa, I would be happy to visit the free world….but should they not, then my life goes on! She was not amused but I really meant it.

Any way to cut the long story short, all went well and an interview was fixed for me to appear before consular officers…and that day traffic was heavy and consequently I got there a few minutes ‘late’ but nonetheless allowed in.

The first thing I saw is how submissive every person going to the consulate was, even the ones that are ordinarily hard headed!…and I joined the queue as humbly as it could be and ushered into the expansive compound after being relieved of anything of value. I mean my mobile phones! from that point onwards I was ‘mteja’ not available on phone.

After a few steps, corners and doors it was my turn to appear at a window for my finger prints to be taken which I did humbly…then ushered at a waiting place outside…..there were drizzles and it was a bit cold but we were many so it was fine for me…. I waited for four hours and was then called back inside to await another turn at the window! I waited…..waited and waited…but the good thing is interviews were being done publicly so I was Ok as I listened to different people arguing their case as to why they want to go to the US: Three cases really mesmerized me:

Case 1: A Somali national who stayed at the window for almost one hour speaking through an interpreter because he was not fluent in English! Except when he felt the interpreter was not hammering his points properly! he would then speak in English! Of course he got a red card meaning rejection!

Case 2: An old  man that wanted to go back to his wife in the US…..surprising he had divorced the same wife twice and the  consular officer asked him to demonstrate that he is married to him and that they keep in touch…the poor guy then unleashed a pile of framed photos of their happy life together…am not sure whether he got a red or green paper but it was a harrowing experience for him…I felt pity on him but still admired his determination to actualize his American dream again!

Case 3: An old mother and her twelve years old daughter who wanted to go to the US to visit her brother. As soon as they were at the window and the consular officer asked a question, the girl took over and answered ALL of them perfectly and the consular officer gave  her the green card in three minutes! Amazing

Then it was my turn and the moment the consular officer saw that I worked for Kenya Immigration in my other life the interview ended as we chatted about how Immigration work is tough with me telling him that he had a tougher job because everyone except me wanted to go to America…Never mind I was actually before him begging for a Visa to go to the USA!…of coz I got the visa!

Indeed America is the place the whole world want to go!

Watch out for part two on my experiences on my way to and in America itself.

Among other places you can find this new law at this address:
http://
http://www.knchr.org/Portals/0/Bills/THE%20SECURITY%20LAWS%20AMENDMENT%20BILL%202014.pdf